Bella Notte
by BiggMomma5
Summary: My virgin fanfic.  Edward left Bella, Bella was crushed, Jacob picked up the pieces.  Jacob is 18, just about to turn 19.  Bella is 18.    Vampires, werewolves.    This is where I saw the story going.  I hope you like it.  SM's still the best!


_"I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed." _

_Though I hear him speaking, I see his lips moving, I don't understand what he's just said. It's making no sense whatsoever. _

"_EDWARD!" He's here somewhere. I plop down onto a fallen tree that has been lying on the ground for quite some time, as is evidenced by its thick coat of moss. Life and death. Irony._

I wake to this reality-he's gone. Really gone. I'm screaming and trying to keep my insides inside. There is a huge hole through my soul. He's gone, left me here alone, without him.

Dr. Oh What's His Name? (like I care, really,) says I'm what the medical professionals call a near-catatonic state of depression brought on by some type of trauma. Most times, anyway. At other times, panic attacks strike hard. I try to keep myself under control, but this feeling of absolute dread that builds in my gut grows and grows until it explodes and I am lost. I have no real desire to even pretend to function. I'd rather curl up and shrivel away.

I begin to go through the motions, not necessarily for me, but for Charlie. I hate knowing that I worry him, but I just cannot help myself. My entire existence collapsed when Edw-when _he_ left me left me in those woods. Holy hell! Even his name hurts. Hearing it rips my heart a new asshole, yet again.

I don't want to go to school, we had every class together. Now, everywhere I look, I am reminded of _him_. Reminded of what I can never have, of what I can never be, of a family I can never belong to.

Why? I knew it was too good to be true. I knew that I was never good enough for him, yet he led me to believe I was. Cruel, sick joke! I bet they are all having a few good laughs at my expense. I thought they all loved me, but they left me behind, without so much as a good-bye note. Thanks. All those hours invested in each relationship, each friendship, and I am so easily forgotten? Big fat go figure! I'm left me alone with my thoughts. Just me and my hollow memories.

Ugh! Why am I so shocked by this? I knew it was coming. I tried to brace myself, but it still hurts more than anything. I let my guard down, gave him my heart, and what did I get in return? The ultimate "Fuck you!"

Dad was right about _him_. Sometimes, daddy does know best, and now I understand. I should've listened to Charlie, but nope, I just had to have Edward. Ouch. Automatically, I drop to the floor and wrap my arms around my abdomen, trying to keep my chest from bursting. Oh shit! Here come the tears again…

Time continues to move on, despite my implosion. Minutes turn into hours. Hours to days. Days to months. Months. Nothing has changed. But time marches on. Yes, even time has forgotten Isabella Marie Swan.

The phone rings. My barely audible robotic voice answers "Hello? Hi, Jessica. I'm…yeah, I'm still here. Thank you for thinking to invite me, but no, I need to study tonight, my grades are slipping. I know he's not coming back, but I…you don't understand. Jessica, don't be like that…ok. Thanks anyway, have fun. Bye." _Bitch just doesn't get it. She was always jealous of me and Edward. Now she's being a smug, snotty little haglet who just needs to_-the phone brings me out of my silent rant.

"Hello? No, Angela, I really can't go. Yes, I am ok," I lied. "You know that I need to pass trig. and because of…well, I guess I've fallen somewhat behind. I knew you would understand. Thank you for not pushing me right now, you really are a great friend, better than I deserve. See you on Monday." Click.

I sit down at my desk in front of my window overlooking the woods. Yes, those fucking dark, damp, dank woods that constantly taunt me, _"this is where he left you to wither alone..."_ _Ring. Ring._ The phone snaps me out of my loathsome daze. "This blasted phone! Char-I mean Dad! If that's for me, I'm sleeping!" I yell through a crack in my door and return to my desk and the open text book.

Charlie knocks on my door, waits a few moments for me to answer and allow him into my Den Of Sorrow. Yes, Bella's wallowing in self-pity yet again, and yes, this is what my bedroom is now called. "Bells, that was Jake, and I thought that…" I cut him off, "Dad, look, I'm sorry to ask you to lie for me, but I really need to get caught up. I just don't have the time to chit chat now."

"Bella, Jake is coming to pick you up. I'm not worried about your grades, we both know that you are very bright and you will catch up in no time." I groaned and rolled my eyes, not hiding the fact that I am at the moment quite annoyed. "Dad, "interrupting what I was saying, Charlie threw his hands up in frustration and spat out "That's it! You are going out if I have to drag you myself! Bella, I know you miss that, that, that _boy_, but you need to see your friends! You are not doing yourself one bit of good sitting in here moping your life away! He's NOT coming back! When are you going to get that through your…" My body began to tremble uncontrollably, and these sad sobs began to roll through me. "Bells," exasperated sighs pushed past his lips, languidly, "I'm sorry." He comes to hug me, but pauses awkwardly, unsure. "I hate seeing you in pain. I just thought that, well, since you had a great time with Jake last time, maybe, just maybe he can take your mind off of, things. Please, a change of scenery will do you a world of good." He begged, and ended with a forced smile as he patted me reassuringly on my shoulder.

"Ok." I conceded. I knew after all the worry I'd put him through, I owed him this much. And yes, I think I need to get out of here for a while. I know nothing in La Push is going to remind me of the (gulp-fuck me six ways to Sunday, oh just say it and get it over with) the Cullens.

_BANG BANG BANG _

"No need to break the door down, Jake!" Charlie yelled, shaking his head while chuckling, "I think he might be just a little too excited to see you, Bells."

_Charlie, you are lucky you are my father, or I would knock that smug grin off of your smug face right now for doin…_Charlie opened the door, and standing there in front of me was this hulk man with a baby's face. I stood with my mouth agape, words failed me as my eyes traveled down his snug ac/dc t-shirt that clung to his very well built body. His jeans were a little low off of his hips showing a tuft of happy trail. My eyes hungered to see more more more…_whoa! What am I doing? I'm in mourning, for fuck's sake! Goodgotdammit! This boy is H-O-T HOT HOT! Edward...who? _

"Jake? W-w-what happened to you?" _Nice one, Bella._ "You...skinny...where? Uhh, well, I uhh." _Unable to form full sentences, apparently._ "How long...how long has it been?" Booming laughter, courtesy of Jake.

"Too long, Bella, far too long!" His toothy smile lit up the dim kitchen. Before it even registered in my mind what was going on, I was caught up in a huge Jake hug.

"Don't bring her back too early, Jake! Don't wanna see her home before midnight!" _Way to worry, Dad!_

"I've missed you, Bella. Since you started hanging out with," he looked at me and seemed to sense that I was tensed in anticipation of his next words. "with _them_, you really didn't have time for me. I understand, I mean, wow, they really are, um, nevermind." He paused, but it wasn't one of those weird awkward pauses that are generally lingering around this type of conversation.

"Anyway, I'm glad to have you back in my world." _How did I never notice that smile before?_

We talked of old times, when things were much less complicated.

Everything with Jake is so easy, so relaxed. So, Jake. Edward was always intense, too serious. Edward was twilight, the saddest part of the day, when most life falls to slumber. Jake, on the other hand, is the dawn, bringing light and warmth everywhere he goes.

It hit me then. Jake is my light. He's what I've been missing. Jake is the one I've loved my entire life. Jake is home.


End file.
